#69: mostcherishedmemory.exe

05/22/19

So this app will not run on mac. I don't really know what to do except ask Jae if she has the software to run this. Apparently this isn't Window-less household. I'm going to post the link here for any of you who want to try running the executable. No guarantee it isn't malicious obviously so use caution.

mediafire link

In other news the PRG files I had received yielded results, though the quality of them begs to be questioned. I do not know how coding works at all; I've always wanted to learn but never had the time. So I am going to try to paste the plaintext and hope that it does not interfere with the page format somehow.

MADRIK.prg

#include "sytem.prg"
mwin("The Jester of Bordeaux")
pause()
mwincls()
branch=random(2)
If(branch==1)
{
mwin("The tragic heroine dives from the rooftop.")
pause()
mwincls()
mwin("Behind her the flood pours from the sky and swallows the city whole.")
pause()
mwincls()
}
If(branch==2)
{
mwin("The wise old owl delivers a letter to the stoic protagonist.")
pause()
mwincls()
mwin("He follows the instructions carefully, dismembering his kin in preparation for his visitor.")
pause()
mwincls()
mwin("The outsider steps into the world of madness and faces the gutless sinner.")
pause()
mwincls()
mwin("Then, with her last breath, the heroine slays her self, spilling her secrets onto the page.")
pause()
mwincls()
}

This is "Alice 1 and 2.prg"

#incude "system.prg"
mwin("Enter the tragic hero and his impossible dream.")
pause()
mwincls()

This is another file sent to me called "Alice 1 ad 2.prg"

mwin("The World")
pause()
mwincls()

I may be wasting my time trying to figure all this programming nonsense out. I don't even know if Ali is alive right now but as long as there is even a chance of finding her I'm not going to rest until I've overturned every stone. I'll bring this to Jae and see what we can figure out tonight.

#68: Restless

05/20

I have been thinking lately. Why did Darek make me a Tumblr, then, just as Tumblr was going downhill, create a Google blog for me? Why make a Twitter? Why post Ben's videos on YouTube? To make me more aware of how alone I am. He's mocking me. Look at all the people viewing Ben's videos and meanwhile not one comment on my blog. No response. No help. No questions. No concern. It's like there's not even a reason for Ben to record his mental tailspin or me to document my self-medication and lunatic perception distortions. I am a writer. Do you know what it takes to be a writer? Embellishment. Dramatization. Generalization. Express the events on paper just as I remember them. If the details get fuzzy, fill in the blanks. It's really that simple. I know I've given an inaccurate report time and time again. This is my plight; my memories are at Darek's mercy. Yet he permitted me to remember 2016 as it actually happened. Yet he continues to impose upon me the desire to document. Yet he has provided me a platform to express myself when there has been no audience, no relationship with others outside of this game. I'm a freak in a glass cage and people are too scared to poke me because everyone close to me seems to die. That's the gist of it right? That's what you want me to conclude Darek? That you use social media to isolate us further, to twist our communication and break us down so you can do your little experiments? I'm so alone. To the one person that shared my tweet, thanks. Draw in more of the masses to stare as everything falls apart. You're doing what they want. You're sitting there and observing

05/21/19

UPDATE: I found something interesting today. Tacking this onto the already present incomplete stream of consciousness that was going to be tonight's entry. Rob messaged me out of the blue with a file labeled “MADRIK.prg” and I tried messing with it but it wouldn't open. Shortly after he sent a second file called “Alice 1 and 2.prg” but it also wouldn't open. Curious. He said "Hello Mathew" as well implying he knows I'm watching Ali's messenger.

I will try to upload the files to Twitter or another media sharing site so anyone who reads this can interact with them. I don't know if this is a lead but it's something and that's better than nothing.

#67: I Forgot Him

05/19/19

Jae surprised me. Honestly I'm not really sure what to think about what happened. I noticed a couple of tweets from Zanark on my account. I was trying to decipher them when Jae came in.

“Sorry.” She said. And she put the flash drive down on the table. I looked up at her confused.

“I took a look at this thing when you were gone last night. It had a pretty nasty program on it that redirects every link click to a weird image file.”

“Oh.” I finally managed to say. That was all I managed to say because she continued.

“I reverse engineered the virus so if you plug it into the laptop it will terminate the original procedure. Or something close enough. And also the image is saved in your system32. It might be malicious so delete that ASAP. Good luck!”

With that she turned to leave. Before she did, she said “Please find her.” I don't know what Zanark did (or how) but I guess he used Jae to deliver me guidance.

I obeyed right away, deleting the image at my first chance. As soon as the USB was recognized I could freely move through the computer. What I found on there, well…

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1290779954424647&id=100004779639577

I don't know if this is relevant to the investigation, or if Ben will flip his shit seeing I shared this anything that helps catch the culprit should be shared though. This is more important than privacy.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1290755394427103&id=100004779639577

Of course. Rob. Fucking Rob who has been there since the beginning. The forgotten player who harbored Chameleon's darkness all along. And I never even considered him anything but a side character until just now. Fuck me. He's got Ali and I have to find a way to get her back.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1290744491094860&id=100004779639577

I'm not even going to address the messages from Darek right now. Suffice it to say this is suggesting that Kendra and Chameleon made some kind of deal and she is betting her life that the audience, you, will act to save her. I guess you play some part in this too. It's not just my self-contained soap opera turned tragedy.

But I've got new leads to follow. I won't be sleeping tonight. Haven't rested well lately even when medicated. I'll update if anything major happens.

05/20/19

Update time. I meant to post this last night but I had trouble organizing everything. I was too excited by my lead to even post any tweets. I just kind of ran out and tried to find Rob.

According to his family, he had been acting out since Ali left him. They tried to be reasonable and help him out but he rejected their kindness at every step. This classic story played out exactly as could be imagined. the beginning of April he disappeared and they haven't seen him since. He had a few dollars saved up. Tough to say if he stayed at motels or just wandered the streets.

I couldn't really pin his activities down. Maybe if I was a cop or a grizzled PI people would have helped more. But I couldn't really give a straight reason why i, a young looking guy in his twenties, was asking about this dude. What info I did get led to nothing. And while I was looking I just got rocked by the gravity of everything.

Chameleon played me. I was so lost int he darkness. Everything felt false. Some things I thought I posted don't exist and things I didn't mean to post can be seen throughout the blog and Twitter. He knew. He read my nlogs. He followed my accounts. He knew what I was doing the whole time and dint say a word. He was Chameleon's sleeper agent keeping tabs on me without attracting notice. I feel betrayed as much as I feel guilt for my own betrayal. I started thinking of the universe as a computer program and a rogue variable I hadn't accounted for exposed itself in the final beta test.

Rob if you're reading this please. You don't have to do this. Whether it's your own darkness or Chameleon puppeting you, please just fight it and please just let me see my friend again. 

#66: I Don't Care

05/19/19

I've been trying. Nothing has happened. There's no leads anywhere. There's no clues anywhere. And it's fucking dumb. Chameleon has wasted my time with weird images before, orchestrated a whole puzzle with my life, and perpetually played the antagonist in this story about me and my friends. Then he sets up a great puzzle for this ARG, even links to a countdown called “ali test” AND THERE'S NOT A SINGLE FUCKING CLUE OR LEAD OR WAY FOR ME TO HELP HER! THIS ISN'T VERY INTERACTIVE CHAMELEON! Seriously! Why doesn't he just kill Ali or something? Do to her what you did to Casey because I know it was you who murdered her. Mammoth too probably, but I really don't give a shitabout him.

The cops finally got involved. Now that a few days have passed  without seeing her, Jae is all concerned about rent money and can't contact her. So she finally had the police come and they talked to me. Honestly it was kind of a nerve-wracking experience trying to trace back the memories that weren't from my previous life. After stammering my way through what felt like an interrogation, I'm pretty sure they had their suspicions about me. Then again, I reflect now, they're just NPCs in this game. I have certain freedoms as I saw with my parents. If I had just casually told them a dark controlling hivemind stole her away using someone's body, I would have been dismissed because that goes against the rules of the game.

On that subject, I took time to consider a list of suspects last night as I tried going around town to places me and Ali hung out. It was not a very long one. Ben had Mark who might have been influenced by Chameleon to do something. The dead Mammoth appearing in a part of one of Ben's videos(in the chaos of getting kicked out I never got to review his latest upload before 5/14) suggests that his death was a hoax or that Chameleon revived his body for ADDICT to occupy. Lucinda, twisted as her intentions may be, is under Zanark's protection. But Madrik, well... could Jake be my prime suspect? It's ludacris but yes. Maybe.

As for my footwork, well, we had barely settled in so all of the places I checked yielded nothing. I tried the Google building she worked at(they assumed she quit), the liquor store where she bought alcohol(hadn't seen her since Jae sent her for bourbon last week), and even contacted a few mutual connections. One was her weed dealer who had not heard from her which he himself admitted was odd. I tried calling Rob but it went to voicemail every time so far. He had been distant since she left him; he probably wants nothing to do with either of us but it was worth a try. Hell, I even hit Frankie up. Ended up just fucking smoking weed with him all night and I'm just now getting back to my senses. I don't know what to do.

I'm useless. I mean I KNOW the info I need is on her laptop. I bet I could get some useful stuff if I checked into her messenger. But I'm just kind of scared to end up at the mercy of Chameleon again, to wander the hellish mindscape of incarnate illness. I have this picture in my head of Ali just turning into zeroes and ones and vanishing into her laptop, leaving behind the corruption and rot that Chameleon so enjoys. Honestly, I have failed to consider the possibility that Kendra herself is behind this. But that's because she saved my life and I just know she would never help Chameleon willingly. He can't touch her with that sword of hers. I watched the darkness run from it.

This is torturous. After everything I've gone through, after losing Casey and losing the bubble of normalcy I had leaned on for years to cope with Darek, I'm stuck watching a timer count down what will most likely be the end of my best last friend's life. And it's not fair and I wish I didn't care but I do because having spent time with Kendra in the Outer Layer I know she's more permanent than, say, the police or my own fucking parents. Maybe though, maybe I should try and just convince myself that everything will be okay. Don't even mention the fact that my future will be uncertain and this didn't happen in the last timeline. Just drink your beer and smoke your pot and tell yourself you don't care. You don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

I don't care.

#65: I Don't Know

05/15/19

Sorry for the delayed update. I did sort through things last night and get this log typed up. Unfortunately sleep caught up with me and I passed out before I could inform all of my loyal readers. I was so focused on finding something, anything, that could give me some insight into Ali's predicament that I lost track of time.

So here's your update now that I'm conscious again. Just been watching that countdown timer going on my phone screen for a bit now. I have no fucking clue where to go from here. There's so much in my records, from the hidden images to the capitalization codes to the weird numbers at the end of Mark's video titles. My brain gets so overwhelmed and it shuts down without processing any of the possibilities. I'm trying to put myself out of the situation, play pretend that I'm a detective investigating a kidnapping totally unrelated to me.

I'm pretty sure that the kidnapper was a real person. The flash drive inside the computer suggests a real person was here besides Ali. As for the computer, it's useless. Every time I click on anything on the home screen a weird image of a face pops up and the computer restarts. I think there was some kind of virus on the flash drive but I am too nervous to check it out. I've considered asking Jae because she's good with computers but honestly, after Ben shut me down before I could argue my case, I don't want to try and involve any outsiders. This is my burden to bear.

I've viewed the video several times as well. It is a subject of fascination, as it appears so cryptic yet each clip seems to imply dark knowledge Chameleon wishes to share with his audience. And his audience is literally the audience, everyone reading. He asked you all to “keepsittingthere anddonothing”. I'm begging you not to. I feel like there has to be a hint in the contents of the video somewhere. There's footage of Ali and Ben talking. Not sure what it is they're saying unfortunately, but it might be a clue? I'm gonna keep messing with it.

Oh. I've got the video in an editor to isolate and manipulate certain portions. I actually managed to figure out some of the audio that was missing in the message. At one point just after the freaky skeleton thing, the clips say “the hackers aren't exactly” and the next clip comes from the Rememberance video. “fuckin’ angry anyone's fuckin’ watching”. I paired it up with a little research. Unfortunately all that tells me is that he wants you to observe; he just doesn't want you to interfere. Though, based on the little edited gif, Ben will be torn in two regardless of your decision. Please don't give up though. I still believe we can save Ali.

There's also a screenshot of Darek's Facebook? The faded text reads “do not trespass on his art” but “art” shifts to “heart” very briefly. It's an almost comical mourning of Casey West and talks about hiring actors to play her… it is seriously making me consider that I am in the Truman Show.

Um. References to TribeTwelve are present here as well. I don't know if that has any bearing on Ali or what but it's there. I've honestly kind of just overlooked them for the most part. There's also a segment taking pieces from the envelope video that say “remember what Ben was” and this is likely the true order of the capitalized words present in that video. Actually this is probably a reference to Mark Graves. But none of that helps me right now!

The computer is obviously the thing I need to focus on. It's clearly got something inside of it that the kidnapper wants to hide. But by hiding it they drew my attention right to it. So perhaps it's a distraction they want me to waste my time with. Or maybe there's something more to the video that I haven't found yet. Actually maybe it's the flash drive he wants to distract me from? I mean, I'm assuming it is the source of the malware afflicting the laptop. Is that what they want? I don't know if I can risk plugging it into my own device. They would have access to all of it as well then. But maybe the real secret to all of this is on that countdown page. Maybe there's something I am missing there. Honestly if I was Chameleon I would just leave a bunch of dead ends while the timer runs out just to fuck with me. So who really fucking knows anymore.

I'm getting high. Updates to come.

#64: Please Help

05/14/19

Ali is gone.

We have been having a bit of a fight. She's kind of passive aggressively suggesting I am exaggerating the circumstances I find myself in. I definitely feel like it's putting undue strain on my mentality. That strain is just another drop in the ocean of pressure this new development is putting on me, though.

I'm losing my fucking cool right now and I can't even express properly how everything is going down. Fuck, I mean, this blog was halfway through documenting the events of March 27th, I haven't even had time to properly paint the picture of Gwen's final moments or the magnificent consequences of the murder. Now I need to drop all of it and fucking FIND MY BEST FRIEND BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENS!

...maybe something already did happen. It's highly unlikely that a kidnapper randomly targeted my friend. This is the work of Chameleon or Darek or one of the other personalities that have been orchestrating things. The video put up on Bens YouTube tonight is a telling sign that the malicious forces at work have taken her. I need to get ahold of my raging emotions and focus. I need to solve the puzzle they're laying out before me.

First of all, let me explain what just happened after I woke. I was so angry with Ali for her snide remarks that I stormed out of the house with change I had accrued from errand running. I bought myself some cheap liquor and shared a drink with the local vagabond. I got in late(or, rather, early) and passed out. I didn't even notice anything was amiss until I woke up and Jae asked me where Ali had been all day. A deep emptiness fell into the pit of my soul; I peered into the door to her room.

The blanket lay across her floor. She made her bed every morning. The laptop was still on in rest mode; if she had known she was leaving she would have closed it up to conserve battery. Her cat meowed expectantly, coiling around it's food bowl. I took a second to feed the cat and then I let the certainty of panic set in. She had not been in this room for a while. She was missing. Just like Casey and Jake, just like Mammoth, someone tied to my blog is gone without a trace. And nobody seems to think it's a big fucking deal!

I confronted Jae and insisted that something was seriously wrong. Jae responded very casually. I shouldn't have been surprised; she has never in any lifetime I remember shown her serious side. I pushed the issue and she said to bring it up with the police. I just gave up on her. The police are going to do exactly what they did to Ben with the envelope and disregard me due to lack of evidence. I need mental help, they would claim, and I'm fabricating scenarios for my art project.

Speaking of Ben, there was an upload to his YouTube. The link was plastered all over the internet but in case you didn't see it here it is:

https://youtu.be/LCx34hV5alA

The description links to another site with a countdown timer. Here is that link:

http://alitest.pcriot.com

Not sure what all of it is really alluding to. I'm going to break down the videos contents in my next entry where I go over all my evidence. I need to focus. I can save her if I try. I know I can.

This is all just so much. I'm staring at this evidence, replaying the video over and over again, looking for any angle that contains any semblance of a clue to give me a direction to head in. Darek is silent throughout. Whatever is happening, I guarantee he has his grimy little hands in the middle of the madness.

I'm going to start researching everything I have and I'll put together a comprehensive list of my findings over the course of the night. Please, if you have any leads or any clues about this “Ali test” or from the hidden frames of the video, contact me on Twitter @CYHTCBR or email the account linked to this blog, infieruno@gmail.com

#63: Inner Conflict

05/10/19

FTP: I ended this one a little awkwardly on a cliffhanger. I'm in the process of writing the aftermath of the confrontation. It was pretty intense but I'm still an entertainer at heart; I want to keep you guys on the edge. Next week should conclude everything.

Honestly I have just been incredibly distracted. Ben came to visit Ali last week. That's why I was a day late posting the entry- something strange happened. I don't know exactly how to explain it.

It walked in the door of the house and a very strange sensation flowed through me. It was as if a warmth had called over my body and sprung forth from inside all at once. I watched Ben turn on the couch and snarl “You again?” Then leap up and strike at me. But that's not what actually happened. I was staring into an empty living room as I entered the house. No strange feeling, no snarling ex-friend. However, this happened around 4 in the afternoon. When I checked the clock in the kitchen a short time later it said it was seven at night. I don't think three hours passed from the time I got settled in to the time I checked the clock. Did I lose hours? Like I said, I don't know how to explain it. It might even be nothing. But I'm just trying to figure all of this out.

Anyway, Ali has been acting different since then. Before when we talked about my blog she supported my lunatic belief systems. Now she's being standoffish and confrontational when it comes up in casual conversation. The same girl who supported me in my outwardly unhealthy hobby is now telling me I need to let it go like it's just a thing I am doing because I'm fucking bored. Should have seen this coming. It's how she spoke back in 2017.

So I've been very passive aggressively drinking and staying out late at WiFi-equipped establishments. As long as I'm able to communicate with y'all I'm fine. This is just such h insane bullshit on top of all the stress I'm feeling. I have never been very good at coping. Does that surprise you, whoever you are reading this? And since this little load save state occurred I have felt a constant dull hum of delirious pressure on the back of my head. It's as if just… giving it all up would be easier. Does it even matter? To cope with it I just built a wall around my fear and marched on. That fear has festered now into an apathetic beast. Do you all even exist? Is reality really real? Why the fuck should I keep trying to justify my continued existence based on the literal lie I'm encased in??

I don't know. I don't know anything anymore and I guess I'll just keep marching forward.

03/27

“What is going on right now…?” I muttered as Anna approached Gwen with ice in her eyes.

“The two halves of your heart are in conflict.” Kendra said, appearing beside me. I jumped at the sound of her voice so close and my head snapped to face her. She stood as ambivalent as ever observing through her spectacles the allegory unfolding.

“You're seeing the true selves their personas tried to hide.” Anna strode forward, all the moisture in the air coalescing to surround her like an aura, an extension of her soul. “Anna, who always you saw associated with weeping and sorrow, used that perpetual shame to cover up bitter hatred for the world.” The moisture converged viciously all of a sudden; the water crystallized into needles of ice. “Gwen is much more cliche.” Kendra commented idly. “She acts manipulative and controlling but it's actually because she is afraid and cowardly.” Gwen dodged and ducked around the shards of ice. One or two scratched her superficially; she showed no sign of slowing in her approach toward Anna.

“We have to help them!” I cried.

“What are you going to do?” Kendra suddenly snapped at me. The still cold air suddenly felt overbearingly warm and humid. “This isn't some anime where you suddenly unlock your latent reality manipulating powers. You wrote that out of the story. You made yourself the victim of this conflict you created.” The phrasing of that stuck with me. I made sure to accurately reflect it here.

Gwen crashed into Anna, her arched-back wings giving her more momentum. Her hand closed around Anna's throat, and suddenly my vision was besieged by a peculiar sensation.  I felt the breath being choked out of me, but I also felt my hands wrapped around someone's throat. Just as Kendra described to me, a slow-burning wrath and a terrified panic overwhelmed my sensations. I was experiencing both of their emotional states at once,  the two Figments fighting for controlling power of my soul. I experienced the sensations as each of them did, half-conscious of both their struggling wills and wholeheartedly aware that if Anna did not win, I would die. I would die and nothing would bring me back in time or yank me out of the matrix.

My body ran forward without my express permission but not without my sympathy. I dove and crashed into Gwen with a massive thud, knocking her off of Anna. Anna had not been resisting or fighting Gwen's strangulation, but the air around her, her aura, felt rigid and jagged. Scratches and cuts produced tiny droplets of blood along my exposed flesh. I did not pay any mind to it. I only threw my arms around Anna and held her tightly to me. Gwen disappeared from my awareness. Only Anna and I existed.

Her entire history flashed through my brain in one overwhelming surge of raw sensation. I understood in that moment. She didn't kill Alice. Gwen killed Alice. Gwen took the purity in my mind and twisted it into something else entirely. She removed it from me by force and in the aftermath tried to rewrite the atrocity in her favor. Don't ask me how or why I knew that because it just sort of came to me with the epiphany, as if the flood of emotions delivered the information to me imperceptibly.

I clung to Anna as she lay limply across my lap. Gwen rose to her feet with menace in her eyes. Where was her cowardice now? Have faith. Something inside of me echoed. Kendra was right. I was defenseless and helpless. I had no powers; nothing was going to save me. Now I was as at Gwen's mercy as Anna if not more. At least Anna's will seemed to be manifesting around us in the air. I clenched my eyes shut and let the moments like get toward the first strike, the visceral wounding, the violent strangling.