10-31-15
I'm writing this with hands soaked in the blood of my friends.
This is not a metaphor. I fucking killed them. I know why I did it too.
Jake and Casey threw a party for Ali when she was about to leave for Virginia. She ended up not going but I kind of made an off hand sassy remark about wanting my own party for no reason since Ali got one. Jake literally looked at me and said "Sure, we can throw you a party." I thought this was awesome. I had all kinds of fun ideas for stuff we could do.
The night of the party comes around and I got my first sign that things were not going to go as expected. I pulled Casey aside.
"Why is Frankie here?" I asked. "You know I don't like him."
She shrugged. "He had weed." I had a feeling Jake just did things because he was too nice to everyone, but this was annoying. No matter. I tried to mingle and enjoy my party.
Honestly it amazed me that everyone decided to show up. Ben was there, Jennifer was there, Steven and Janet even showed up partway through the night. It was wonderful feeling like the center of attention. I was queen of the castle this time and it was awesome to just be comfortable with myself and show off because it was all about me.
I definitely tried to talk to everyone. I imagined they couldn't get enough of me if they came out just to celebrate with me for no reason. I wouldn't have minded a smaller party with (I definitely gave Frankie a sidelong glance as I thought this) less people, but one takes what they can get.
We had a wild time; the whole back patio probably smelled like a skunk after we were done hanging out and shooting the breeze with concentrated THC-free smoke clouds. It was probably the best night I ever had out with people. Because I didn't feel like I could do anything wrong. Because this was MY party so no matter how obnoxious I was it was my time to be selfish and get away with it. I loved it.
I think it started when I went in to ask for a drink. Jake and Casey were just cuddling on the recliner watching television when I approached them.
"What's up?" Jake asked in a kind of standoffish tone. Casey was not looking at me at all.
"Got any drinks?" I asked him.
"Yeah, in the fridge." Then, as if as an inspired afterthought. "But don't touch the Brisk! That's only for Casey."
My mood fell flat. I loved Brisk and he knew that. Was he seriously going to tell me not to do something at the party he threw specifically for me? What the hell?
Casey's head suddenly popped up. "No, I bought that for you." She said. "I told him not to let anyone have it but you." My heart fluttered. She really did love me. If I had known that would be the last time I would see that girl I had once loved. She would be replaced by a monster shortly.
I grabbed a drink and went outside still aflutter that Casey remembered this minute detail about me. "What's got a pep in your step?" Frankie asked.
"Casey got me my favorite drink." I said proudly. Ben audibly groaned and moved away from us to smoke a cigarette I cracked it open like it was a beer after a long day and took a hearty swig.
"Oh yeah?" He laughed. "Too bad you didn't get her anything."
"Man " I smirked. "Why would I need to bring her something at my own party."
"What?" Frankie blinked, then he chuckled. Ben chimed in. "What are you talking about. This isn't your party. Are you seriously that delusional?"
That was when the world stopped for me. You could hear a pin drop as everything connected. Jake hadn't thrown me a party at all. He had told me that to please Casey then stopped caring. He didn't care about me. And as everyone started laughing their voices blended together and distorted. Now the noises had filled to a rumble in the background of my perception. I blinked, and I stared at my fist in Frankie's face. Then, another blink, it was inside his skull. The way his head caved in fascinated my reptile brain. It was like a star exploding into inversion, falling into the galactic maw of the black hole. The laughter wasn't laughter anymore; they were screaming. I wasn't screaming though. I was laughing. Hahaha. It was all so funny, don't you see? I was a fucking joke to them!
Rob was on top of me as I pried Ali's jaw from her skull. Ever seen the movie Mirrors? It wasn't that great, but that one scene in the bathtub… if you've seen it you know. I was recreating that with her head. She was already dead, it seemed. Good. Fucking bitch deserved to die. Spare her the horror of living in this hellhole. But maybe for her it wasn't so bad because she had a pair of tits! Apparently Jake liked her more than me anyway! When Alica asked for a party she fucking got one! When I asked for it they used it as an excuse to gaslight me! I'M JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU! WE ARE ALL THE SAME! YOU CAN'T STAND ME AND MY CRAZY BECAUSE I'M NOT AS PRETTY AS CASEY AND HER CRAZY!
Ben was on the ground in front of me. I didn't understand anything anymore, but the axe in my hand was heavy and it was easier to swing down than to try and process any of this. If I was as beautiful as Casey, they would crawl on their knees to beg for the chance to be in my presence! I blink and Jake is beneath me, his head bumpy and bleeding. They would put up with all my eccentricities and trauma! I pressed my thumbs into his eyes. Because I would be worth something! He didn't scream while I squished them like jelly. And Alica! Fuck! Like she's anything but my female doppleganger and yet she is allowed to make out with Casey while I am not even able to get away with kissing her once! Once! My hands dug at his raw flesh, slicing and ripping strips out as I went. Fuck you for that! My hands were coated in his gore. Fuck you Jake!
I'm sitting here alone now with Jake and Rob and Steven and Jennifer lying strewn about, quite literally decorating the patio. Casey, Ben, and Alica aren't here anymore. I think they got up and walked away but that might just be the trauma manifesting.
There's noise in the woods. I think they're coming back for me. Hang on. What's that light? Is that...a sword?
HAHAHA
ALLMINENOW
