#77: Lucky Sevens

08/12/19

I am going to kill myself tomorrow.

Thank you everyone for watching or...whatever. I don't know. I'm seeing less and less people on the streets every time I go out. 

I know that wasn't literally my future self last entry by the way. I am fully aware that was Chameleon fucking with me. I think he wants to become me somehow. I think by killing myself he will replace my body with his copy, kind of like what they did to poor John Locke in the last season of Lost. Then evil-Mat will do what I did on 10-31-15 and kill everyone. I can't have that happening but I can't keep going either. Darek's cursing me out right now but I think in part he kind of supports this because at least one of the three messages he sent me said it was an inevitability. Darek if you've built this world to prove that wrong I am sorry. You are on the losing end of this hypothesis.

So I am choosing to die. I will probably drive into a wall. This seems appropriate because of how Casey and Ali (originally) died and it is also a Lost reference. Might as well let this record have some creative backbone to it, you know? Suicide with style.

I'll post what I found tomorrow. You'll see then why I'm choosing this. I love you if you're reading this. I really truly love you. You're all that is real in my universe. You, dear eyes, are what transfers my memories into someone else's mind. And you, sweet soul, have stuck with me all this time. Maybe you are Alice.

Or maybe I'm Alice. I'm the one dying after all.